Independence...From Being Upset

Independence...From Being Upset

Author: Dr. David Cooper is a psychologist at the National Center for Telehealth & Technology.

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
? Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations"

Each Independence Day as we celebrate, we are reminded of our political and personal freedoms. But what about our emotional freedoms? How can we learn to be free of letting others make us feel angry or upset?

Marcus Aurelius was emperor of Rome from 161-180, and his “Meditations” were his daily diary where he jotted down his thoughts and reminders to himself. He was a Stoic, a school of philosophy that focused on learning how to practically live from day to day.

One of the areas Marcus Aurelius talks about the most in his “Meditations” is reminding himself to reflect on his own thinking. So if someone calls me a name, am I that thing? If I am, then they were right to say so. If I am not, then why should I care since they are obviously wrong? Why should I let someone else dictate whether or not I will have a good day or bad day, or how I will feel?

When we get angry or upset over something someone else has said or done to us, most of the time we are only hurting ourselves. If that other person was selfish enough to say a hurtful thing to us, why should we think that they care if we’re upset about what they said? (In fact, that may have been their purpose in the first place!)

So if you find yourself getting upset over this holiday weekend about something, take some time to stop for a moment and reflect. Did the person do something that actually hurt you? Is getting you upset exactly what they wanted to do? By thinking about what’s going on, rather than letting yourself get hooked by emotion, you can celebrate your independence from letting others control you.

 

 

afterdeployment.t2.health.mil Community Terms and Conditions

  • If you have feelings of suicide, hopelessness or depression - please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

  • afterdeployment.t2.health.mil reserves the right to edit and/or remove any user-generated content that violates these Terms and Conditions. The contents of the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site, such as text, graphics, images, information, and other material contained on the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site. If you choose to participate in the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil forums and/or blog ("Community") you agree to these Terms and Conditions.

  • Community posts and comments are reviewed by the Moderators for appropriateness before they are published to the Community. Posts and comments are reviewed between the hours of 0800 and 1700 hours Pacific Time, Monday through Friday and will go live immediately after review unless they are deemed inappropriate based on these Terms and Conditions at which time they will be deleted without notification.

    You will not be contacted at any point by any member of the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil staff, nor any related agency or organization. If you are in need of assistance or medical attention, please contact the DCoE Outreach Center or National Suicide Prevention Hotline listed in the top right corner of your screen.
  •  
  • You agree not to hold afterdeployment.t2.health.mil liable for anything stated within the Community. Messages and/or comments posted at this site are the sole opinion and responsibility of the poster. afterdeployment.t2.health.mil makes no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information contained within the Community.

  • afterdeployment.t2.health.mil and its Moderators reserve the right to remove, edit or delete without notice any and all content placed in the Community.

  • Moderator and/or afterdeployment.t2.health.mil action may be final. Actions may be reversed by afterdeployment.t2.health.mil or a Moderator after review of the matter.

  • Using the forum to solicit discussions contrary to the Terms and Conditions may be considered unacceptable.

  • It is your responsibility to be familiar with and remain updated to current Community Forum Terms and Conditions. All users of the Community must comply with these Terms and Conditions. Infractions of any Term or Condition may result in revocation of forum privileges.

  • General content that is inflammatory, vulgar, sexually explicit, rude or otherwise inappropriate will not be tolerated and will be removed.

  • Always be respectful of the Community, afterdeployment.t2.health.mil employees, and Moderators. Be civil, clean, and decent in all posts. Open discussions of varying points of view are encouraged but only if they remain constructive and not inflammatory. Personal attacks are neither allowed nor tolerated. Anyone using/ posting inappropriate content, language, personal attacks, engaging in hate speeches and rants, or being disruptive to the Community's positive environment may be barred from all further discussions and/ or the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil Community.

  • The Community is not a venue for personal or private vendettas or causes, including political debates.

  • Links to adult content, pages with links to adult content, or messages describing anything inconsistent with these Terms and Conditions will be removed.

  • Do not post copyrighted material or articles written by others without their permission.

  • Do not post altered-text as an attempt to defeat forum word-filters or otherwise circumvent the rules.

  • Nicknames, signatures, and avatars are not allowed on the site.

  • Keep forum thread discussions on topic, and within the subject of the forum. Please do not "hijack" or "bump" the thread to gain additional exposure to a post or yourself. Please do not
    cross-post within other forums and threads.

  • Content and Spam that is posted for the sole-purpose of unrelated promotion will be removed and may result in a permanent loss of forum privileges.

  • Anyone posting another member's personal or website details will be banned. Please do not post sensitive or confidential information to the Community about yourself or other members. Examples include account information, private communications with moderators, etc.