Adjusting Your Mirrors: Changing Perspectives
Adjusting Your Mirrors: Changing Perspectives
Author: Dr. Pam Murphy is a child psychologist at the National Center for Telehealth & Technology (T2).
A while back, I was driving along a wide-open county road on my way to work. The speed limit was an incredibly slow 45 MPH. On two previous occasions I had the opportunity to discuss the speed limit with an officer of the law. So on this day, I was motoring peacefully along at 45 MPH.
Another car came up behind me. They had obviously not chatted with the local sheriff, or perhaps they learn even more slowly than I do. They were unable to pass and so they sat upon my back bumper … closely upon my back bumper.
I was not happy. In fact, I grew hotter and hotter as I saw them back there. Perhaps I said a few choice words. But after contemplating a wide variety of options (many of which are unprintable), I moved my mirrors. That’s right. I moved my mirrors so I could no longer see my fellow traveler. My stress level plummeted and my anger evaporated. Nothing else had changed - just my view of it.
It’s easy to forget we have a choice. Often it feels so natural to get angry we don’t even question if we might react differently. Our teenager smarts off. The grocery bag rips. A friend says the wrong thing. Someone tailgates us. So we hand over the remote control to our brain. It might take practice, but consider hitting the pause button first. Step back and see if there are other options besides blowing up in anger. See if there is a different way to view the problem. Sometimes just adjusting your mirrors works wonders.
afterdeployment.t2.health.mil Community Terms and Conditions
If you have feelings of suicide, hopelessness or depression - please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
afterdeployment.t2.health.mil reserves the right to edit and/or remove any user-generated content that violates these Terms and Conditions. The contents of the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site, such as text, graphics, images, information, and other material contained on the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site ("Content") are for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil site. If you choose to participate in the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil forums and/or blog ("Community") you agree to these Terms and Conditions.
Community posts and comments are reviewed by the Moderators for appropriateness before they are published to the Community. Posts and comments are reviewed between the hours of 0800 and 1700 hours Pacific Time, Monday through Friday and will go live immediately after review unless they are deemed inappropriate based on these Terms and Conditions at which time they will be deleted without notification.You will not be contacted at any point by any member of the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil staff, nor any related agency or organization. If you are in need of assistance or medical attention, please contact the DCoE Outreach Center or National Suicide Prevention Hotline listed in the top right corner of your screen.
You agree not to hold afterdeployment.t2.health.mil liable for anything stated within the Community. Messages and/or comments posted at this site are the sole opinion and responsibility of the poster. afterdeployment.t2.health.mil makes no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information contained within the Community.
afterdeployment.t2.health.mil and its Moderators reserve the right to remove, edit or delete without notice any and all content placed in the Community.
Moderator and/or afterdeployment.t2.health.mil action may be final. Actions may be reversed by afterdeployment.t2.health.mil or a Moderator after review of the matter.
Using the forum to solicit discussions contrary to the Terms and Conditions may be considered unacceptable.
It is your responsibility to be familiar with and remain updated to current Community Forum Terms and Conditions. All users of the Community must comply with these Terms and Conditions. Infractions of any Term or Condition may result in revocation of forum privileges.
General content that is inflammatory, vulgar, sexually explicit, rude or otherwise inappropriate will not be tolerated and will be removed.
Always be respectful of the Community, afterdeployment.t2.health.mil employees, and Moderators. Be civil, clean, and decent in all posts. Open discussions of varying points of view are encouraged but only if they remain constructive and not inflammatory. Personal attacks are neither allowed nor tolerated. Anyone using/ posting inappropriate content, language, personal attacks, engaging in hate speeches and rants, or being disruptive to the Community's positive environment may be barred from all further discussions and/ or the afterdeployment.t2.health.mil Community.
The Community is not a venue for personal or private vendettas or causes, including political debates.
Links to adult content, pages with links to adult content, or messages describing anything inconsistent with these Terms and Conditions will be removed.
Do not post copyrighted material or articles written by others without their permission.
Do not post altered-text as an attempt to defeat forum word-filters or otherwise circumvent the rules.
Nicknames, signatures, and avatars are not allowed on the site.
Keep forum thread discussions on topic, and within the subject of the forum. Please do not "hijack" or "bump" the thread to gain additional exposure to a post or yourself. Please do not
cross-post within other forums and threads.
Content and Spam that is posted for the sole-purpose of unrelated promotion will be removed and may result in a permanent loss of forum privileges.
Anyone posting another member's personal or website details will be banned. Please do not post sensitive or confidential information to the Community about yourself or other members. Examples include account information, private communications with moderators, etc.